'God's reckless grace is our greatest hope'

Two roads
One road is narrow and hard that leads to real life. Those who find it are few.
The other road is large and easy that leads to death and many walk on it

This sign is written on our living room wall, i've read it so many times. Sometimes i dont think anything of it and then other times it confuses me. But over the last few weeks this sign has become more real to me. More real as i watch two of our boys, one walking down the narrow road and one walking down the large road.
In the last blog i talked about stolen money and we had also had a camera taken. I talked about two of the boys.
Eventually one of them confessed to selling the camera, but didnt have anything to do with the money. He apoligised and is trying to settle down and concentrate more in school. We are still working with him but he is taking baby steps down the narrow road.
The other boy however ran and is still running down the large road. He ran back to the streets and didnt come back for a few weeks. He came back yesterday for the first time and when we sat him down to talk to him, we asked him what was going on he replied 'nothing' we sat there for a long time, telling him we loved him and giving him an opportunity to say something but still nothing. As he sat there i could see the pain in his eyes, the hurt he was going through. And as i saw him walk away the next morning my heart pained so much seeing him walk away down that large road with his head down in the rain. He wont talk, he wont listen......running.

As i watched him walk away i was so upset for him watching the way they had both handled it but it seriously made me think of my own life so much. How over the last few weeks ive been running down that large road. How ive been trying to do things on my own strength. When the teachers were asking 'why i couldnt get the boys to school, Carly and Val can, your just not strong enough' Instead of running to Jesus i tried to do it on my own and i failed. I got upset and tried to run. The same things happen when the girls are here and i wondered how i used to laugh at the things that were happening around instead in the few weeks im sad and upset and im falling back into things that i used to do, that make my heart so heavy.

And as i watched him walk away i heard a voice say
'Rachel, your going down the large road, your once again trying to do it on your own strength, you cant do it. Choose the right road, in the big things, in the little things, when you make mistakes. Turn to me.'

So right now im being lifted back up from falling my face from trying to do it on my own once again. Im so glad that i have such a patient Father who lifts me up time and time again.

Im praying that through this the boys will see, as they've watched me upset over the last weeks. As i talk it through with them i pray they will see once again that even though the narrow road is hard, how good it really is.
And im praying that altough Farah is running down the large road right now that he will hear his fathers voice telling him that he loves him and that really the narrow road means life.

Altough there is always something new going on, things are really settling. The boys are doing well in school and starting to try much more. I think it really helped having my Mum come over for a week visit. It was amazing to have her walk in the house and the fighting stop completely and then forgotten about by the time she left!!

Thanks so much for your prayers, they are seriously needed everyday. And altough sometimes i can see the work as a mountain God sees each one of these amazing precious boys as a miricle.

Rach x